**Blackout** (capitulo tow with the blackout) New York City has no power And the milk is getting sour But to me that is not scary Cause I stay away from dairy La-la-la-la-la-la... ----------------------------------------- **Snowman** (capitulo tow with the monkey) I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin' How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen La-la-la-la-la-la-la... ------------------------------------------ **Cremated Mother** (capitulo tow with the monkey) And my mother's ashes Even her eyelashes Are resting in a little yellow jaaaaaaar ----------------------------------------- **My Coma Guy** (capitulo tow with mrs.bing) You don't have to be awake to be my man As long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand. Though we just met the other day There's something I have go to say... ----------------------------------------- **Babies** (capitulo tow with the birth) They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why And you cry and you cry and you cry And you cry and you cry... ------------------------------------------ **They Found Their Bodies** (capitulo tow with the birth) And they found their bodies the very next day They found their bodies the very next day... ------------------------------------------ **In the Shower** (capitulo tow with the baby on the bus) I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song Stop me if you've heard it My skin is soapy and my hair is wet And tegrin spelled backward is nirget. Lather, rinse, repeat Lather, rinse, repeat Lather, rinse, repeat (pause) As needed! ------------------------------------------ **When I Play** (Capitulo tow with the baby on the bus) When I play I play for me I don't need your charity! -------------------------------------------- **Double-Jointed Boy** (Capitulo ...the baby on the bus) He was a double, double, double-jointed boy --------------------------------------------- **Stephanie** (cap. .......the baby on the bus) Stephanie knows all the chords! ------------------------------------------- **Smelly Cat** (cap. ....with the baby on the bus) (Chorus) Smelly cat, smelly cat What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat It's not your fault They won't take you to the vet You're obviously not their favourite pet You may not be a bed of roses And you're no friend to those with noses (Repeat Chorus) ------------------------------------------ **Two of Them Kissed Last Night** (cap. ...with the list) There was a girl we'll call her Betty And a guy let's call him Neil Now I can't stress this point too strongly This story isn't real. (time passes by) Now our Neil must decide Who will be the girl that he casts aside? Will Betty be the one who he loves truly Or will it be the one who we'll call L-L-Lulie? He must decide, he must decide Even though I made him up he must decide ----------------------------------------- **Grandma** (cap. toa the superbowl) Now grandma's a person who everyone likes She brought you a train and a bright shiny bike But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, But the truth is she died and someday you will too La-la-la-la-la... ------------------------------------------- **Don't** (Cap. toa the superbowl) There'll be times when you get older And you'll want to sleep with people Just to make them like you But DON'T Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do That's another thing that you don't wanna do ------------------------------------------- **Bi-sexuals** (Cap toa. superbowl) Sometimes men love women And sometimes men love men Then there are bi-sexuals Though some just say they're kidding themselves La-la-la-la-la-la... --------------------------------------------- **Barnyard Animals** (cap.toa superbowl) Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo" Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo" Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up And that's how we get hamburgers. Nowwwww chickens! --------------------------------------------- **Crusty Old Man** (cap ..when dr ramore dies) ...And the crusty old man said "I'll do what I can" And the rest of the rats played maracas -------------------------------------------- **Sticky Shoes** (Cap : phoebe's ex partner) My favourite shoes so good to me I wear them everyday Down at the heel, holes in the toe Don't care what people say My feet's best friend, pals to the end With them I'm one hot chicky Though late one night Not much light I stepped in something icky (Chorus) Sticky shoes, sticky shoes Always makes me smile Sticky shoes, sticky shoes Next time I'll avoid the pile -------------------------------------------- **Jingle Bitch** (phoebe ex partner) Jingle bitch screwed me over Go to hell jingle whore Go to hell, go to hell, go to h-h-hell -------------------------------------------- **The 66 Colours of my Bedroom** (the jellyfish) ...fuschia and mauve Those are the 66 colours of my bedroom ---------------------------------------------- **Dumb Drunken Bitch** (the cat) ...dumb drunken bitch!! --------------------------------------------- **Parading Goats** (joey's new girlfriend) Parading goats are parading, Parading down the street. Parading goats are parading, Leaving little treats. ------------------------------------------------ **Papier Maché** (joey's new girlfriend) I, I'm still waiting for my papier maché man ---------------------------------------------- **Holiday Song** (the girl from poughkeepsie) Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap Said all you need is to write them a song Now you haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along No don't sing along Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowwwwwy And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something) handler! ------------------------------------------------ **Little Fetus** (the one with the embryos Are you in there little fetus? In nine months will you come greet us? I will buy you some Adidas